Dear 20th century fox

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809921354/video/5554289/;_ylt=AlrpQPyXiE6hyXAtsvwzjXNfVXcA

Dear 20th Century Fox,

I just viewed the trailer for the upcoming film, Nim's Island. I plan on viewing this film, probably not in the theatres, but as a DVD, or on TV. I plan on viewing this film because it features Jodie Foster (Inside Man), Gerard Bulter (300), and Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine).

I plan to one day view this film because the trailer didn't cause space and time to implode inside of my chest. However, that is only because of the presence of Ms. Foster, Mr. Butler, and Ms. Breslin--three actors who I have much respect for. Other elements of the trailer, however, such as the crappy music and goofy sound effects, tore at my chest, so that the very fabric of reality located there almost ripped apart, creating a black hole that would suck in the entire universe. Thankfully, Ms. Foster, Mr. Butler, and Ms. Breslin saved all of creation.

Unfortunately, if I ever see a similar trailer with crappy actors, our lives may once again be put in danger. I write this letter to tell you to cease using, in your trailers, annoying music aimed at children. Every time you release a children's movie and trailer that includes this kind of music, you endanger us all.

However, I fear that you will refuse to heed my warning because the music included in these trailers are so crappy that the royalties are cheap, and because the royalties are so cheap, you use the music for years. Some of these songs were okay on the first hearing, but having heard them in various trailers since no later than 1995, they, too, threaten to create a black hole in my chest. Therefore, I believe that, within the decade, all matter will meet itself in an impossibly small point in space that my heart had been occupying. Please prove me wrong. You bastards.

Sincerely,

Alberto Luperon