Who The Superheroes Would Vote For

I can't help but write this:

- Captain America: First off, Steve Rogers would never use his identity as the Sentinel of Liberty to campaign for any politician ever. It has been established that he won't even consider running for public office, even though he is aware that people would sure as hell gravitate toward him as a leader. Captain America is a symbol for the nation. This means keeping politics away in lieu of coloring the symbol in a divisive slant. Now...personally, though, he would lean toward Ron Paul. If he were even alive. He would appreciate Paul's candor, and constant, open championing of the consistitution. Stable societies rest on fair rules, which every one respects.

Bucky, the new Captain America, is technically dead. So, too bad for him. He can't even vote.


- The Fantastic Four is divided on this one.

The Thing is definitely for McCain. Obama seems too much like a hotshot for him; a man who spent at least half of his Senate career running for president may have too big a head for the job. Anyway, The Thing likes that McCain promises to help people with their mortgages because it's the biggest problem that he sees.

The Human Torch knows nothing about politics. His eyes glaze over at the words "Habeas Corpus" and "dividends." But he remembers McCain's first appearance on SNL, where the Senator sang Streisand songs. He thinks that the man is f-ing awesome for that reason alone, and yet it is a great, great reason.

The Invisible Woman believes that it is important for women to keep their right to choose, so she leans toward Obama.

Mr. Fantastic really really likes Obama's 10-year, $15 billion dollar a year to get the US off foreign sources of energy. "Actually, I have some ideas..."


- Spider-Man's life is so hectic, he feels he knows way too little to make a choice he feels comfortable about. He saw Obama in the third debate, and thinks Obama has a very cool head. Besides, the Parkers are registered Democrats.

- The Punisher doesn't care, but his father voted for Barry Goldwater (McCain's predecessor in the Senate) in the 1964 election.

- Ms. Marvel is definitely up for aggressive, responsible military defense (read Mighty Avengers #1). Also, she cut her teeth in the Air Force. From a president, McCain, for sure.

- She-Hulk is a lawyer. Though she loves her superhero life more than her lawyer life, she respects Obama's temperment. She's been in enough universe-shattering events to appreciate a guy who sits back, digests a situation, then makes a responsible descision.

- Iron Man is totally torn on this one. The former Secretary of Defense is no war monger, but he respects and knows the need to maintain peace through force. But he knows it can cause just as many problems as if fixes. In any case, if Obama had been running against the John McCain of 2000, it would have been McCain, easy. But the McCain of today bothers him. McCain has flipped his opinion on Roe v. Wade, Bush Tax Cuts, and cozied up to certain constituencies not out of real interest, but to win votes. McCain has alienated Stark, and Stark, though trusting in McCain, is really not all that trusting of McCain.

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- Wonder Woman dislikes both candidates' interventionist policies. But she wouldn't vote for Ron Paul, a noninterventionist, because she has the feeling that Paul is a coot, albiet lovable. Besides, she's not even a US citizen.

- Superman grew up in Kansas, baby. The friggin heartland. Smallville ain't seeing any meaningful federal assistance from nobody since...when?...but Clark Kent is putting his vote for Obama, for the man's promise to move out of Iraq.

- Now, I actually asked Batman who he was for. In Midtown Manhattan, on 1st ave, he had no mask on, calling for a taxi. I was in a white 1937 cadillac town car with some friends. This is a true story. I rolled down my window, and asked, "Is Batman for McCain or Obama?"

"McCain!"